The world according to ben

…. is “I thought I had it all figured out.” I just spent 3 days learning the testimonies of the eight other summer interns at 2PC and we all said a variation of that exact phrase. It’s amazing how nine people from different walks in life can struggle with the same things, and yet it’s not amazing at all because we’re all human, we’re all fallen, and we’ve all bought into the lie one time or another that we don’t need God. But we do, we need Him so much, and I’m certain that I’m still vastly unaware of how much I need Him.

That’s why I’m excited about this summer, because I only have God to rely on. I’m in a new city with no friends doing ministry in a church I have no ties to working with middle schoolers whom I’ve never met. To say that I’m anxious is a little bit of an understatement.

To be honest, I miss my family and I miss my friends. I’ve never missed anyone as much as I have missed my best friends these past four days. I’m usually fine in new surroundings, but I’ve never done something as radical as this before. I’m not here for a week like IMPACT, I’m here all summer, doing something that I don’t even know if I’m blessed in, and there’s no one here who I trust enough to talk to about my deepest concerns and fears. The only person I have is Christ; He is literally the only thing in Memphis that I can 100% trust right now, and part of me wonders if that’s why I’m here, to learn to rely solely on Him. I’ve often relied on my family or my friends to give me purpose and fulfillment, but I can’t do that here. It’s Christ or no one.

Suffice to say, this summer I’ll be adding blurbs about my experience as a Jr. High intern on the blog. Some will be funny, some insightful, but I hope through this experience we can learn together what it means to count solely on Christ.

If this did happen, we would have some drunk students pretty quickly.

megemc:

Take a shot every time someone gets in a relationship.  Take two for an engagement.

monday-friday:

Kids, back in 2012, your aunt Robin wanted to do something more with her life. So she took her love of guns to an organization called S.H.I.E.L.D and fought alongside the Avengers.

Now, your Uncle Barney and I took it pretty hard; she was getting to spend a lot of time with another billionaire playboy, this guy named Tony Stark. Your Uncle Barney almost went crazy when he found out the guy had a metal suit.

“It shoots fireballs, Ted! He looks like a freakin’ storm trooper!”

(via ohlookemma)

Source: iwastesomuchtime.com

…. I had to take an ethics test for the Fellows program, (it’s to mark how “ethically” we are becoming or something) and it was kind of weird to be in that room with all those people again. Aside from my two suite mates and a few other friends, I hadn’t been in a room with most of those people for the entire year. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to the fact that you can see someone everyday for years, and then one day you can lose all contact with them. 

….here’s a description of my wand.

My wand:

Length: 12 inches    Wood: Larch    Core: Unicorn    Flexibility: Supple

Larch

Strong, durable and warm in colour, larch has long been valued as an attractive and powerful wand wood. Its reputation for instilling courage and confidence in the user has ensured that demand has always outstripped supply. This much sought-after wand is, however, hard to please in the matter of ideal owners, and trickier to handle than many imagine. I find that it always creates wands of hidden talents and unexpected effects, which likewise describes the master who deserves it. It is often the case that the witch or wizard who belongs to the larch wand may never realise the full extent of their considerable talents until paired with it, but that they will then make an exceptional match.

Unicorn

Unicorn hair generally produces the most consistent magic, and is least subject to fluctuations and blockages. Wands with unicorn cores are generally the most difficult to turn to the Dark Arts. They are the most faithful of all wands, and usually remain strongly attached to their first owner, irrespective of whether he or she was an accomplished witch or wizard.

Minor disadvantages of unicorn hair are that they do not make the most powerful wands (although the wand wood may compensate) and that they are prone to melancholy if seriously mishandled, meaning that the hair may ‘die’ and need replacing.

So see, my wand keeps me from being an evil wizard….

So…the Sorting Hat gave me a choice between Hufflepuff and Slytherin. I chose the House that wins more, but since I could be in either, does that mean I’m a compassionate evil guy?

…. introvert these past couple of weeks. It’s been like reconnecting with a friend who I haven’t talked to in years. I’ve always considered myself an introvert, but when I came to college everyone I met told me I was definitely an extrovert. The signs are there:  I’m outgoing, not afraid to talk to strangers, not afraid to initiate conversation (no matter how awkward), like being around people and one of my favorite things to do is meet new people. Plus, I hate feeling lonely, and college can be an extremely lonely place. So, I embraced the extrovert and have spent most of my college career hanging out with people, making plans with people and just plain being around people. Heck, being around people was fun. There was always something new and exciting to do, and I didn’t have time to think about things going on in my own life. It got to the point that when I wasn’t talking to people I often got neurotic and paranoid, so I fully accepted that I was an extrovert.

But then, I realized something:  I had put too much importance in being around people. It had become a burden, something I needed and something that I had put my self-worth in. That’s not healthy, so I took a step back and looked when I am truly content. This is what I found, I feel the best:

• When I am talking one-on-one with a person
• When I am in a room surrounded with a few good friends. We don’t have to be talking or watching a movie, often times I just enjoy reading in silence with company.
• When I am in the Word alone and can sit and think.
• When I can lay out on the quad and soak up nature.
• When I make a connection with someone I didn’t know.
• When I’m with a small group who I don’t have to initiate conversation with.
• When I have a few really close friends who I know will always be there for advice.

Those are all characteristics of an introvert. While I enjoy being outgoing, reaching out to new people and being around people, it had become an idol of sorts for me. I had become afraid of silence, of being by myself, because of my fear of loneliness. But being by yourself doesn’t mean you are alone, and I had forgotten that. I had associated solitude with rejection, that the reason I was alone was because no one wanted to hang with me, and that’s just not true. We all need to have time to ourselves, to process what’s going on in our lives, or just to be still and relax. I had forgotten that. Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoy meeting new people and will always be outgoing, but that doesn’t mean I should base the quality of my day on how many people I talked to.

So what about you? Have you taken time to be alone recently, or are you afraid to be by yourself? Making people something that gives your life value takes your wellness out of your hands and puts it in the hands of others, and others can be fickle. Remember the words of Christ, ““Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while,” (Mark 6:31). He knew the importance of being alone, of resting. Being around other people is a lot of fun, but I think true contentment can only be found in times when I can sit with myself and be perfectly happy. Our call is to reach people, commune with people, but not to make our life about people. Our life is about something bigger.